Service & Honesty at www.redmountainaviation.net

Service & Honesty at www.redmountainaviation.net

Why Jesus is Better Than Santa Claus

A little something to remember during the Christmas holidays

Santa Claus lives at the North Pole...
JESUS is everywhere.

Santa Claus rides in a sleigh...
JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water.

Santa Claus comes but once a year...
JESUS is an ever present help.

Santa Claus fills your stockings with goodies...
JESUS supplies all your needs.

Santa Claus comes down your chimney uninvited... JESUS stands at your door and knocks, and then enters your heart when invited.

You have to wait in line to see Santa Claus...
JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.

Santa Claus lets you sit on his lap...
JESUS lets you rest in His arms.

Santa Claus doesn't know your name, all he can say is "Hi little boy (or girl,) what's your name?"...
JESUS knew our name before we did. Not only does He know our name, He knows our address too. He knows our history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on our heads.

Santa Claus has a belly like a bowl full of jelly...
JESUS has a heart full of love.

All Santa Claus can offer is HO HO HO...
JESUS offers health, help and hope.

Santa Claus says "You better not cry"...
JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you."

Santa's little helpers make toys...
JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs broken homes and builds mansions.

Santa Claus is a "jolly old elf"...
JESUS is the King of Kings.

Santa Claus may make you chuckle but...
JESUS gives you joy that is your strength.

While Santa Claus puts gifts under your tree...
JESUS became our gift and died on a tree.

Fifty Dollars is Fifty Dollars!

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther,I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'
Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'
To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'
The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'


Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!'

The Idiot Quote of the Century

'My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it.'

- Barack Obama

2008 submarine races

What do you really expect to see?

Funny

For all you guys when your wife has chores for you to do. Here's what to wear!

Are the Canadians ready for the flood?

Men are so easy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exter minator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1 Show up naked
2. Bring food and beer

The four stages of life

The four stages of life